Mom's Turn - Day 06

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When we approached Izaak’s room this morning we noticed he was being showered with kisses by one of the caregivers. She had told us yesterday that “Arman” was her favorite. So, our little boy already has a fan club at the baby house, we’re not surprised. We decided to spend time in the music room today so that Izaak could get some tummy time. Another family brought blocks for their son. Izaak really enjoyed all the colors and chewing on the blocks. He seems to get bored with the same toys so it’s been nice to share with other families. He got fussy a little earlier than normal. It was warm in the room, so we weren’t sure if he was just getting hot. Aliya recommended that we just hold him and walk around. This worked like a charm. I think we are starting to figure out the parenting thing. Previous to today every time he fussed, we put another toy in front of him, where now we understand that he may just want to be cuddled.

We met with Izaak’s doctor today. We had given her a list of questions we wanted answered. She did say that the shape of Izaak’s head was not “normal” but his “mind was good.” Our IA doctor in the US also didn’t seem to be concerned. She also said he was developmentally delayed. He should have started rolling over at 3-4 months, but didn’t start until 6 months. He started pulling himself up at 9 months, which surprised the doctor because they weren’t expecting that. She confirmed that he has never crawled. That means that the attempts we’ve seen him make to crawl in the past few days are his first – how exciting! The doctor said his character is quiet and he plays by himself a lot. He doesn’t fuss much, though she did say that he has become “spoiled” over the past 3 days – I guess we had something to do with that! : ) She said he doesn’t eat “well” because he doesn’t make a fuss when it’s eating time. Apparently he is one of the last to get fed because he’s quiet. Izaak is still receiving physical therapy and massage therapy. Aliya is going to ask if we can see him getting massaged, we hope to continue that when we get custody. He has become more active and vocal in the past 3 weeks. This proves your prayers for Izaak are working since it was a little over 3 weeks ago when we accepted his referral (keep the prayers coming!). He is currently not on any medications and he has no allergies. There wasn’t much info on the birthparents, but we did find out that she was 23 when Izaak was born and this was her first birth. He got his first tooth at 8 months and now has 7. He doesn’t have any problems with naps or sleeping. So, the little guy seems pretty healthy.

The best part of the visit for me was feeling Izaak fall asleep. Our meeting with the doctor went into Izaak’s naptime. I swayed him back and forth as we talked with the doctor. He slowly started letting go and before we knew it, he was asleep. It was such an endearing moment. I had the pleasure of holding him while he slept during Sari’s meeting with the doctor. Aliya suggested we take him to his room, but there was no way I was going to miss out on this opportunity. It’s so nice to be a part of his day-to-day life.

Izaak was in his walker again for the afternoon visit. He now gives us the biggest smiles when he sees us come in. We went to the playground. We’ve slowed down our activities with him and are really enjoying the simple things, like sitting on the bench and reaching for leaves in the trees or practicing how to clap. There really isn’t anywhere for us to sit (except the benches), so when the playground is empty, we find a little nook on top on the playground equipment to let Izaak stand and sit on our laps. Aliya said it is bad habits of Americans to sit anywhere. You don’t see Kazakh people sitting on the ground or on steps. We always visit the purple dinosaur. We pulled out the blue ball today so that Izaak could get his raspberry quota in for the day. He is such an adorable baby and he just tickles us every time we are with him. When he started getting fussy we slowed activities even more and just walked around the playground. We could tell he was getting tired so we left the playground and strolled around the baby house. He really likes to be walked and within minutes he was asleep. It’s amazing how much heavier he feels when he’s sleeping and how wonderful it feels to snuggle with him. I held him sleeping for about 10 minutes and then our visit came to an end and we gave him back to the caregivers. I guess we’re going to have to stick to his schedule because it’s obvious our little guy needs his naps. We just feel so blessed to have such a wonderful child. It really is amazing to see that things really do work out the way they should.

I do want to add that we are very fortunate to be in Kazakhstan this time of year. The weather has been wonderful with sunny days and warm weather with a cool breeze. It’s so nice to be able to take Izaak outside and see him experience and react to a cool breeze, bright sunshine, grass and leaves blowing in the wind and sounds of cars going by. It’s also refreshing for us to get a break from the heat in the baby house. We are very pleased with how well every thing is going. ~A

We're Doing Well...

So, we’ve been giving you updates on how things are going with Izaak and I’m sure that’s why you are checking the website, but we thought we’d give a little update on how we are. We left NC a week ago and we’re finally starting to feel normal again. I think we are both over jetlag. We’re eating well and getting into a nice routine. We wake up every morning around 7:30am, talk to whichever parent decides to call, head down for breakfast at the hotel restaurant and then get ready for our day with Izaak. We visit Izaak daily, 10-11:30am and 2:30-3:30pm. Between visits we try to come “home” for lunch and get some rest. After our second visit we usually go to the grocery store, take a “long” walk down the main street and decide what to eat for dinner (either cook or go to a restaurant). The rest of the evening is spent updating the website which has become a nice time of reflection. I don’t think it really hits us how wonderful our time with Izaak is until we can recount the day and see the pictures. This website has been therapeutic for us.

We haven’t had much time to watch TV or the million movies that we brought. The day ends so fast even though it doesn’t get dark until 10:30pm! We are really starting to become more comfortable here. Our hotel suite is very nice. We have a good breakfast every morning. We’ve figured out what to buy at the grocery store and have found restaurants that have English menus. We have also found entertainment in the alley across the street – more about that to come. Everything we need is here (except for salt and pepper at the grocery store?). The Atrium, the “mall” in Uralsk is about a 25 minute walk from our hotel. We enjoy strolling down the street, seeing the kids play, watching the “babushkas” selling sunflower seeds. It really is pleasant here.

We are struck with a wave of emotions. Happy to be settling in, but afraid to become too comfortable as I’m sure we’ll miss this place when we return home. We also miss home and can’t wait to bring Izaak to meet everyone. When we see his smile, we imagine our parents seeing it for the first time. We wonder how our dogs are going to respond to him and what he’s going to think of them. We can’t wait to see our nieces showing all the fun and games at Grandma’s. We imagine Christina will be the first to approach him with Lauren and Amanda not too far behind.

So, we are adjusting well to our stay in Uralsk and our new roles as parents. ~ A

In Daddy's Arms - Day 05

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Rain this morning. Everything gets very muddy when it rains, but it doesn’t seem to hold anyone up. In fact, most people don’t wear hats, rain gear or take umbrellas – they just walk around soaking wet. Some of the older women had little tiny umbrellas, but they didn’t seem to do much for them. Misha was about 5 minutes late picking us up from the hotel. We spotted his car in the distance as it was traveling at high speeds, weaving in and out of traffic and over the centerline… but he’s a very good driver and I think he likes us. We still managed to get to the baby house 5 minutes early!

Today Izaak greeted us with a huge smile and giggles as he scooted up to the door (in his walker) where we stood. He had already finished eating, so we snatched him up and headed off to the music room. We’ve been trying to give Izaak a variety of tummy time, sitting, standing, etc. He seems to respond very well and has no trouble squirming around to various positions. He also likes to be rolled back and forth on a large spiky ball. Towards the end of our visit, Izaak let out few good burps on us and then the fussiness began. We think that he might be getting fed faster than normal because we come to visit earlier, so he seems to be gassy. His little eyes welled up with water and he was more vocal (whining). After some distractions and bouncing around, he seemed to calm down a bit. We both felt bad because it was clear that he wanted to have fun, but he wasn’t feeling well.

The afternoon was quite exciting. The weather cleared up, so we went outside. We struggled a bit to get Izaak’s little blue hooded jacket on over his winter garb and headed for the door. It was a windy day and when the breeze hit Izaak’s face, his mouth formed and ‘o’, his lower lip stuck out, and his eyes got real big. It seemed to be a new experience for him. He immediately gave the dinosaur raspberries (oh, what have we started!).

He seems to take interest in simple everyday things. While trying to help him walk between mom and dad on a bench, he kept grabbing for the rails on the bench – fascinated with the shape, texture, etc. We had fun passing him between us, but Izaak started to get restless. At one point, he slumped over into mom’s lap and started to squirming and whining. Assuming it was gas again, mom rubbed his belly while I rubbed his feet. He really liked this, but we could tell he was still uncomfortable. It was nice to see this side of Izaak and be able to work through it ourselves. We also noticed that he started rubbing his ear again (he had done this yesterday). We’re assuming that it means he’s getting tired. Angela asked Aliya more about his schedule. We found out that he eats right before our visits and then the other babies are already asleep when we bring him back, so that would explain both the gassiness in the beginning and the fussiness at the end. He’s probably more tired than normal because he’s getting a lot more stimulation from our visits than he’s used to.

At the end of our last visit for the day, I had Izaak propped up on my shoulder and started to walk back to the baby house. He had settled down quite a bit. He was holding on with one hand and trying to keep the other hand free, so I took his free hand and held it still against my chest. It couldn’t have been more than 20 steps when I felt his grip tighten and the rest of his body start to go limp. The little guy started to fall asleep on my shoulder. I could feel his head lean over against my neck and his legs started to dangle. This was an amazing feeling, we’re all starting to become a family. It was a perfect end to our visit. ~ M

Rasberries and Crawling - Day 04

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The visits with Izaak keep getting better! We saw a bit more activity out of him today. We went to the “Ball Room” this morning. It’s a great room with lots of cushy mats and plastic balls. Primary colors are everywhere and it might have been a little overwhelming for Izaak at first. He just kept looking around in amazement. He enjoyed standing up beside the mats and reaching for balls. I tried putting him in the balls, but he wasn’t quite ready for that. He also enjoyed looking at himself and us in the mirrored wall. We put Izaak on the mats so that he could get some tummy time. Within minutes he had pulled himself up to a crawling position. We hadn’t seen this yet and were very excited. He made a few crawling motions and then fell to his tummy, so we feel like this is new for him. We’ll find out from the doctor tomorrow if he crawled before we came. He gets very frustrated when he can’t get where he wants to go. That and when he’s passing gas are about the only times he’s gotten fussy so far. He was more attentive today and we got even more eye contact. He seems to want dad for fun and giggles and mom for cuddling. When he’s tired he has started reaching for me a little. Bouncy and lifting him up continue to be winners. We also brought a rolling truck today. He liked watching it roll back and forth, but was happier with it in his mouth.

This afternoon we went to the music room. He really loves balls and fell in love with an inflatable, blue ball we brought. He somehow figured out how to blow on the ball to make “raspberries,” you know, well, there’s really no other way to say it but “fart” sounds. It was too funny! He kept doing it and of course we encouraged him. Okay, so we’re teaching our child fart sounds and Sari, our travel partner, is teaching her daughter classical music. What can we say? Anything for a laugh and to keep our kid happy! Izaak seemed to more tired this afternoon, which was okay with us because we are both tired ourselves. We’ve been staying busy since we got here and I think jetlag and lack of sleep is finally kicking in.

Our last visit for the day ended and it was time to give Izaak back to the caregiver. We had him dressed in a t-shirt type, long sleeve onesie and a pair of pants. The caregiver fussed at us about having him so underdressed. She felt he wasn’t warm enough (even though we stayed inside and he was sweating while we played). She also fussed at us for not taking him outside because it was nice out. It had actually been raining when we came in and we can’t really put Izaak down at the playground. We asked if we could put a sheet on the ground at the playground and Aliya said that the caregivers “wouldn’t understand – they don’t do that here.” So, we opted to stay in. I guess weather is going to dictate where we go from now on. If it’s nice out, we’ll be at the playground if it’s raining we’ll be in the music or ball room. It doesn’t really matter as long as we get to spend time with our little guy! ~A

Getting More Comfortable - Day 03

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We’re all getting a little more comfortable. Today we got to the baby house at 10:00am. We rushed to room #4 to see Izaak, but were told we had to wait because they had not yet been fed. We got to see the caregivers feed Izaak and some of the other kids. They really shovel it in – some kind of thick cereal. Once they were done, the caregiver brought Izaak to us right away. He seemed happy and full. We put on his little ball cap and headed to the playground.

Today, we noticed some subtle differences. Izaak seemed a bit more comfortable with us and we with him. We got a lot more smiles and eye contact (something we have some concerns about). He loves when Mike does “bouncy-bouncy”. He even started bouncing himself with his legs. He also likes peek-a-boo and gave mom big smiles when she reappeared behind daddy. He was more verbal today – we heard some gurgles, sighs and a little fussiness. He doesn’t lock eyes with you often, but when he does, it’s heaven. We know that the purple dinosaur is his favorite – he loves to bang on it and was copying mom and dad. As Mike was carrying him back to his room, he was holding on to his bag strap. Izaak was using his index finger and thumb to hold on – developmentally, this is where he needs to be. We made an effort to be more animated and louder with him, which he seemed to respond well to. He got lots of kisses today. We really tried to stay in his face as much as possible.

The playground was packed with kiddies today, mostly older kids, 2 – 3 years old, one more adorable than the next. Some were more curious than others, but they all seemed to be healthy and happy. The kids flocked to Sari, our travel partner, when she pulled out some music (CD player with speakers). The kids were also fascinated with our cameras and anything silver, shiny and expensive. A couple of the kids tried taking Izaak’s toy and one even tried getting into Angela’s fanny pack. It was a great experience to see these children playing and having fun.

It was a lot harder giving Izaak back today. When we brought him in, the older Kazakh caregiver motioned for Angela to put Izaak down on the floor inside the baby room. She then picked him up off the floor. We think this is because of the Kazakh/Russian superstition about not passing anything across the threshold of a door – it is believed that you will have an argument. The younger caregiver (more Russian looking) took Sari’s baby over the threshold without hesitation…

The afternoon session was even better. We returned to the baby house for Izaak at 2:30 – just in time to watch one of his caregivers go through his diaper change and a quick checkup. They are very firm with the children, but also give kisses and talk to them. We love seeing this (even though we weren’t supposed to be in the changing room – but didn’t know it). Izaak was giving her a hard time as usual (squirminess), but with many years of experience, she got him fixed up and handed off to mom and dad. This time, we got to stay in the music room where we put down a blanket/sheet and watched Izaak slide around on his belly for the first time!!! This was great to see. We would put a couple toys around and he would do his best to push/pull himself towards the toys. He sits and holds himself up great. We got lots of eye contact and giggles today. There were less distractions in the room, so we hope and pray this trend continues. He also seemed to try to walk with some assistance while holding his hands. We think he may skip crawling and go straight to walking, but we’ll do as much tummy time as we can so he can strengthen his arm muscles.

Izaak’s favorite toy for today was a drum/tambourine. He loved banging on it and liked grabbing at the cymbals. Sari played the piano, which caught his attention. We don’t think they hear much music. It always seems pretty quiet in the baby house when we visit. We introduced the “Who loves baby” photo album. He really liked smacking the pictures and chewing on the pages. There are pictures of us, the dogs and his grandparents in the album. Again, it was hard to say good-bye, but we know he’s in good hands.

Once we get caught up on some sleep we will post how the trip part of this has been so far. As we said earlier, it is beginning to feel like home. It’s hard to believe that we’ve only been in Kazakhstan for 4 days! Thank you again to all of you who have kept us in your thoughts and prayers. You don’t know how much it means to know that we have so much support at home. It’s like we already have our own little fan club! Please feel free to send words of encouragement. Every time we get emails or posts on the website from you, we both turn into a pile of mush with tears flowing! It’s a happy time!!! ~ M&A

Visiting Izaak - Day 02

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Today was our first full visit with Izaak. We met at the BH (Baby House) at 10:30am for our hour-long visit. The caregivers brought him out and took him to another room where they changed his diapers and clothes. I suspect that we will be the ones to do that tomorrow but was relieved that the caregiver showed us what to do today. By the way, we have to bring a change of clothes with us each day and 5 diapers. In Kazakhstan, the people dress their infants extremely warm with a hat. It is at least 75 degrees outside and you will see infants in a snowsuit and a winter cap. So don’t be surprised if you see us in shorts and Izaak in a warm fuzzy outfit (thanks Shelly). We have to “go with the flow” so that we aren’t questioned by the caregivers. The caregivers seem very sweet and definitely love these children. Izaak’s caregiver said that Izaak is able to pull himself up in his crib, can stand holding himself up, can roll over own his own, and drinks a lot of water. She said that he was shown to another family a few months ago, but was not chosen and that he was waiting for us. We’re glad that he waited!

Our visit this morning went well. Izaak is so curious about everything. It was such a nice day outside that we went to the playground for our visit. A large purple dragon especially fascinated him. He loved smacking the dragon’s head. Though Izaak holds onto us well when we are carrying him, he is definitely a squirmy wormy!!! He loves being raised up and down (Marlene, I guess you’ll have to do your “upadee” with him). Mike and I took turns holding and playing with him. He is teething so he loved the duckie toy that we brought (thanks mom). He wouldn’t let the duck out of his sight or out of his mouth.

Our second visit was this afternoon at 2:30pm. We went to his room to pick him up. He was in a baby walker. Izaak had his walker tipped on edge reaching over to another baby in a walker beside him. The caregiver called him to come to us and in a flash Izaak was scooting across the floor in his walker. This kid could move! I immediately realized we were going to have our hands full! We went to the playground again, but he seemed a bit disinterested in us this time. He was more interested in everything going on around us, the cars honking, a lady walking by, the wind blowing the leaves in the tree. We could tell that he wanted to stand/walk but we really weren’t in the situation do that on the playground so we did the best we could by finding a flat surface on one of playground sets. He got excited when he could pull himself up with the bars. He’s an independent little fellow, which we hope to work on. He needs to learn he can depend on us. This is only day one, so no need to worry. He did become interested in me when I started making car sounds with my lips and he even imitated and looked to me to do it again. This is the first time he’s really made good face-to-face contact, so I was thrilled with that! Our driver, Misha came to meet Izaak. He was a bit louder and rougher with him than we are used to. Misha really liked Izaak. We realized that maybe we are being too gentle and soft spoken. The people here do speak a lot louder than we do.

Our visits of one hour each go by so fast. We are hoping to spend a little more time with him tomorrow. We hope that we can spend some time with him inside. The BH has a great room with lots of mats. We’re going to ask to have a couple of our visits in there so that we can really see our little guy get around. We still aren’t sure if he crawls. A few more things about Izaak: he has 7 teeth, his hair is dark brown, he likes chewing on everything and he has a beautiful smile! He also turned 10 months today! His birthday is July 27, 2005 so we should definitely be home in time to celebrate his first birthday! So, day one of our visits has come to an end and it was wonderful. We can’t wait to get custody of him. It’s so hard leaving him each time! ~ A

***We've just added photos from previous days. Check our "Photo" page for the link to our albums.***

The moment we’ve been waiting for

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Wow, what a day! After a restless night (who could sleep knowing their going to see their son for the first time) we woke up at 4am to catch the flight from Almaty to Uralsk. The flight was smooth sailing until we started to land. It hit me that we are in Izaak’s city and that we are going to meet him today. I was swept by a wave of emotions, overwhelming happiness with a strange fear of uncertainty. The driver and interpreter met us at the airport. We are very lucky to have Aleya, a 20 year old college student as our interpreter. She’s a really cute girl and we immediately connected with her. Our accommodations at the Pushkin Hotel are nice. We have a suite with a kitchenette, living room and bedroom. We thought we’d have a few hours to relax and unpack but within 30 minutes the facilitator, Olga, met us in our room with Aleya to go through the schedule for the day. We left shortly thereafter for a quick run to the grocery store. We learned quickly not to purchase products that looked familiar as they are shipped in and costs way more!

As soon as we returned to our hotel, it was time to go to the Ministry of Education. Olga and Aleya prepared us for the meeting. They say it’s “just a formality” but boy was it nerve wracking. We were asked some general questions about ourselves, our family, our home, why we want to adopt, why Kazakhstan? It was good practice as I’m sure these questions will be asked by a variety of people during this process. One of the interviewers questioned who designed our home and said it was nice. Thanks Hector! Everything went well and the meeting was over. We headed back to the hotel for a quick lunch and nap.

Finally 3:30pm arrived and it was time to head to the Baby House to meet Izaak. In Kazakhstan you are not supposed to receive referrals (info on the child before traveling), you are supposed to travel to Kaz and then select your child from 2-3 children within the specifications you requested. My stomach became sick at the thought of having to hold and examine these children when we knew whom we were there for. After about a 30-minute ride, we walked into the baby house. The only thing we could do today, was “select” our child, nothing more. Our travel partner went in first to speak with the Baby House Director. Two little girls were taken to the room for her to “choose.” It was heartbreaking knowing that one would stay. Our wait in the hallway went on for what seemed like forever. We were both getting extremely anxious. Finally, it was our turn. We answered the Baby House Director’s questions, many of which were the same as those asked by the Ministry of Education. The thing we have been questioned on most is our age and how long we’ve been married. Everyone has commented on how young we look. I think the BH Director was even flirting with Mike a bit when she asked if he had siblings that looked as good as he did.

Okay, the part you’ve been waiting for. Izaak was brought in first. There is no way that words can express that moment! As soon as the caregiver handed him to me, Izaak gave me a big smile! He didn’t cry like I had prepared for, he smiled! He held onto me and looked at me with curiosity. He is small for his age, but we expected that. Mike and I took turns holding him and he responded well to both of us, holding onto us, looking in our eyes, pulling on our watches. All the things you hope for when you want to bond with a child. The only time Izaak got a little fussy was when they brought the second child in and the child immediately started crying. He didn’t want anything to do with us and it was apparent to everyone in the room that we were hooked on Izaak, so they took him out pretty quickly. Now we could put all our attention on Izaak. He seems so laid back and happy. He especially liked being lifted up and down which gave me more smiles. His name is definitely fitting! So, our visit today was brief, but has brought many a joyful tear to our eyes since we left. We are parents, we have found our son and in less than 3 weeks, hopefully the judge will award us custody.


We can’t wait for our visit with him tomorrow. We will visit him once in the morning and once in the afternoon for an hour each. Since the weather is nice, we will be able to go outside with him, which we are both looking forward to. We weren’t able to take pictures today, but we do feel comfortable enough posting Izaak’s referral pictures (we only received two). We can also give you his full name now, Izaak Arman Cuales. Arman was his given birth name so we decided to keep it as his middle name. So, our journey as parents really begins tomorrow. Hopefully we’ll have a lot of great pictures to share! ~ A

***Will post photos soon (having some trouble with uploading)***

Meeting with the Sisters

Our driver, Kirill, picked us up today at 2:45pm to take us to meet the “Sisters.” Traffic here is a little crazy, but not a panic attack (like it was in Italy). We were escorted into a small conference room and greeted by one of the staff. She gave us about 10 documents to sign. Mostly legal stuff the court requires to allow us to adopt Izaak. It was great seeing his full name on everything… scary too. Our hands were shaking a bit as we signed various petitions. We also learned that Izaak had a middle name as well (too be revealed at a later date).

Everything went smooth as silk during the meeting. We were given a run down of what would transpire in the several weeks and received our plan tickets for an early morning flight (6:25am) to Uralsk. We gave Gulbanu a couple bags of Starbucks coffee, which she was thrilled to receive, as she sent us on our way.

The driver took us to the Ramstore on the way back to the apartment so we could exchange some USD to Tenge. This was my first big communication meltdown. The driver took me to the window and told the lady behind the glass what I wanted, then walked off. The lady took my $350 and proceeded to gather up 42,500 tenge. She then uttered some Russian and showed me a 10 tenge coin and waited for a response. I had no idea what she wanted. I tried giving her more money - $1, $5, $10, $20, even .25 cents! Nothing. Angela was back at the car, so I asked the guy standing behind me, “pa-angliyski?” Translation – “English?” He shook his head and pushed pass me, put his hand through the window and went about his own transaction. At that point, the driver and Angela came back in. The driver said a few words, took a 10 tenge piece from his pocket and handed it to the woman. Turns out that she didn’t have enough change and I owed her 10 tenge… this never crossed my mind. I walked out feeling a bit awkward and later gave the driver a big tip for momentarily stepping in as the translator. ~M

We made it…

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So, we made it to Almaty, Kazakhstan! We’re in Izaak’s country! It feels so weird to be so close to him (even though he’s at least a 4 hour plane ride away). We left RDU on Tuesday at 3:03pm, flew to Washington-Dulles, then to Frankfurt, Germany and arrived at Almaty at 11:45pm last night. We were stressing a bit about going through customs, but were waved on through without even having to complete the paperwork. Our driver and translator were waiting for us at the airport with our names on a paper. You know you’ve seen the people standing at airports with signs, it was quite odd seeing our names, but it what a relief – we made it! They took us to our apartment and explained what would happen the following day (today). We are to meet with “The Sisters” who will explain what our trip will entail (visitations with Izaak, court dates, etc.).

We spent most of last night going through our luggage, which ended up being thrown together after realizing we had to move up to a bigger suitcase. I’m proud of our packing – 1 large suitcase, a large duffle bag (each weighing about 50lbs), 1 medium suitcase (for Izaak), 2 small carry-ons and a backpack – not bad for a month’s stay! The 24+ hour trip finally took its toll, so we headed to bed around 2:30am (Kaz time); 5:30pm (NC time).

This morning we woke up to honking horns, the sounds of people sweeping the sidewalks and men talking (our apartment windows were open). We’re definitely not in New Hill anymore. We went downstairs to the market/grocery store where we tried to figure out what was what. We were both uneasy about trying to speak the few Russian words we’ve learned. After some head scratching, Angela ended up eating what looked like a hotdog in a bun, Mike had something similar – not sure what the meat was. Angela took one bite of it and spit it out. Mike also “ate” a triangle shaped pastry with some mystery onion-meat filling (I swear it was horse innards). We’ll have frozen pizza, cucumber and tomato salad and some very creative looking desserts for dinner tonight.

We walked around Almaty for a few hours today and stopped in a neat coffee shop for some caffeine. The women are gorgeous here - Mike can’t keep his eyes in his head. : ) Every time I see a teenage boy or man, I wonder if Izaak will look like that when he grows up. It’s definitely an interesting mix of ethnicities. Russian, Eurasian, Mongolian, etc. All the little girls have big fluffy bows in their hair.

It’s a pretty city. The weather is perfect; I’d say mid-70’s with a nice breeze. Leaves and fluffy things are blowing in the wind. The flowers are starting to bloom and there are flower shops everywhere. Our apartment is comfortable. We’ll only be here another night, then we had to Uralsk, where Izaak is. We’ll be back in Almaty for 3-4 days at the end of our trip. ~M&A

We’re out of here…

After a couple of days of last minute shopping and packing, we’re finally ready to get on the plane. Today has been a day of mixed emotions. We’re excited to finally meet Izaak, sad to say goodbye to family and friends for 1+ month and a little nervous about the long trip. Abby and Casey, our dogs, have been on our heels ever since we pulled out the suitcases. I guess they know something is up and are hoping they can go along for the ride (which they usually do).

We’re taking letters to older orphans at Zhas Duaran (around 10-16 year olds) from sponsoring families here in the States. We received the FedExed package of letters this morning. I got pretty tearful when I pulled out the letters. It is heartbreaking to know that there are so many children that will not have homes or parents. Families in the States have the opportunity to sponsor these children by committing to a monthly donation for a year and writing letters to the children. We hope that we get the chance to visit the orphanage and meet these kids/teens.

So, the bags are finally packed and we’re loading them up in the car. We thought everything was smooth sailing from here until, Casey, our youngest dog, decided she was going whether we liked it or not. She ran out the front door, got zapped by the electric fence, and jumped right in the back of the truck on top of all of our luggage. We were both completely confused. It was quite hysterical, but also sad. We’re going to miss our pups but at least we can see them from time to time. Mike has set up a webcam (meant for Izaak) just so we can see our babies live from Kazakhstan…what a geek! We know they will be well loved by Angela’s mom who is house/dog-sitting. Thanks Mom!

So, here we are, waiting to get on the plane for the adventure of a lifetime. We don’t know what to expect, though we’ve been well prepared by our adoption agency. Now we can focus on Izaak and that goes with becoming parents. We’ve done all we can at this point, let’s just pray and hope that everything will go well and we’ll be back home with our son at the end of June. ~ A

Importance of Bonding

This letter was written by UAB International Adoption Clinic to help family and friends understand the unique issues we face as adoptive parents:

Dear Family and Friends,

As we get ready to embark on the most exciting event in our lives, we are thinking a lot about the people around us and how much our lives are going to change. We are so fortunate to have such loving, involved family and friends. We appreciate the support and excitement that you have all shown to us as we have made this journey. We’re thrilled about bringing our new child home! We’ve done a lot of reading and research about this process and we feel prepared to help our baby become a well-adapted member of our family.

There are some things about adoptive parenting that are the same as parenting a biological child. There are also quite a few areas that we have learned are different. We have learned that our baby needs a specific type of environment and parenting when he first comes home in order to feel safe and secure and to learn how to live successfully in our family.

While we know that every child is different, we also understand that there are many possible things that will impact our child’s beliefs and behavior when he gets home. These include how much nurturing our child received, the amount and quality of food received, illnesses, the quality of care and our child’s unique temperament and personality. The result of these things can include behavioral issues, emotional disorders and a sense of grief and loss. Adoption is a traumatic and scary event for any age child whether they are newborn or 10 years old. They’re being removed from all of their routines and familiar surroundings. Even babies will feel grief and sadness at an event like this.

In order to help our child feel safe and learn that we are his parents, we are creating the type of environment that will help promote security during this stressful time.

When our child gets home, at the recommendation of experienced adoption professionals, we need to implement specific parenting approaches to help encourage a strong, attached, emotionally healthy family member. Our child needs to learn that we’re the parents. He needs to feel nurtured and safe. He will not be used to having parents to love and care for him.

Here are some things we will be doing for our child. We’ll be living a very quiet life with limited trips out and few visitors in for a little while. Social workers and psychologists tell us that when children are first adopted, they may be overwhelmed, scared and nervous. By keeping our lives simple at first, we’ll be helping our child feel safe. This does not mean that we do not want visitors coming to see our little one for the first time. We will just have to limit it a little so it is not overwhelming. I know a number of people are planning to meet us at the airport when we arrive home. That will be wonderful and touching for us to see so many familiar and supportive faces when we arrive. We do not want family to stay away from us. We just can’t pass our new baby around for everyone to hold and we will have to be mindful of overloading him with new things and people. We know you’ll all want to hug, kiss, and help spoil our new baby, but it is recommended that we be the only ones to do that at first to improve his chances of attaching strongly to us. Until we feel our child has attached and clearly knows we are his parents, we will need to feed, change and take care of him. I know that missing out on some diaper changes will disappoint many of you. Have no fear; there will be many more once he becomes comfortable at home.

As strange as it may seem, adopted children who act very outgoing and affectionate with strangers is not a healthy thing. It is called “indiscriminate affection” and can mean that they haven’t really attached to anyone. It would not be a good sign that our baby has attached to us if during his first months home he will let just anyone take him and hold him without searching for his mom or dad. For sure it is going to be a strange and wonderful experience for us. We are so excited and can’t wait to bring our baby home so you can all see him and get to know him. Things are just a little different when you are adopting a baby rather than having a biological child. He will be adapting to a lot of new things… new parents, new family, new home, new foods, new time zone (totally opposite from what he’s used to). That’s a lot to swallow at one time.

We appreciate your understanding in reading this. We’re giving you this letter so that you will understand how dedicated and committed we are to helping our new child adjust and adapt during this stressful time in his life. We feel confident that everything will smooth out quickly and we will be on a more normal schedule.

Sincerely,
Mike and Angela

I think I'm going to miss this place...

The past three days have been flat out strange. I don't remember much of anything that happened on Friday except for Happy Hour at Mitch's Tavern with my colleagues. I remember saying good bye to a few students, faculty and staff. The rest of the time, I found myself wandering around, a little slower than usual, trying to take in as much as possible. I guess it's starting sink in that for about a month, I'm not going to see the places and people that I've seen almost everyday for the past 3 years.

I took the long way home. I stopped at random places and just looked around. Took my Dad to NY Pizza for a couple slices and some guy talk. Drove my dogs around aimlessly for a while. Cut the grass - but made it perfect.

It's not like we're not coming back, but I know our lives and this place will seem so different in just a few short weeks. ~M

Saying goodbye to co-workers

So another couple of crazy busy days! I checked FedEx and it looks like our VISA's should arrive Saturday morning - what a relief! I've really had to focus on getting work done (my job) these past couple of days. Thanks to all my co-workers who are covering for me while I'm gone. It's a bit weird packing up my office knowing that I'm not going to return full-time until early September. My employer has been wonderful in regards to my leave request. I'll have a couple of weeks for traveling and then a full 12 weeks with Izaak when we get custody which will be wonderful for bonding! The guys at work have a running bet that I'll end up staying home with Izaak. That's not in our plans, so I guess we'll have to see who wins the jackpot. My good-bye was a bit hurried since I needed to get home to concentrate on one last project and then turn in my last timesheet for the next couple of months on Saturday.

Mike's good-bye was a bit more celebratory! Drinks all around for him and his co-workers. Mike plans to stay home for a couple of weeks with me and Izaak when we get back to the States. I'm sure we'll all need time to rest and recover.

So, tomorrow starts the serious lists for packing and shopping. This week has went by so fast, it's been a complete blur! I can't believe that next week at this time we'll have met Izaak! I cant' wait to share that blog entry!!! ~ A

Travel Dates!

All I can say is that the past three days have been a frenzied whirlwind! Mike got the call from our coordinator Monday morning that we have travel dates. Travel dates! That means we're heading to Kaz to meet Izaak! Mike couldn't reach me, so he called my mom who was at our house for Mother's Day weekend. Mom couldn't stand it so she kept calling me at work and just happened to catch me running in and out. I about dropped the phone when she told me we're leaving next week and by the time I got a hold of Mike he sounded as confused, excited and panicked as I was. Monday was a mixture of feelings from almost crying tears of joy all day to my head spinning with all the things we have to do.

I've been in contact with many families who have said the week before you travel is insane. I had no idea until we got that call just what we were in for! So, a recap of the past couple of days. My mom spent all day Monday washing Izaak's bed linens and feeding accessories. We still had everything in packages. Not sure what we were waiting for, but it was a blessing she was still here. She was actually packing her car to leave when we got the call! Thanks mom for all your help!

Mike and I immediately started making the many to-do list (adoption paperwork, house, dogs, work, packing, travel, etc.) The first thing to take care of were plane tickets to Kaz. Mike did a fantastic job of calling several agencies which took quite a bit of time since it seemed that there weren't many flight options to Kaz - go figure. Looks like our flight to Kaz will be 23 hours and the flight back around 25 hours. We also had to get everything in order for the VISA application. Our letter of invitation arrived today so the VISA app was FedExed to the Kaz Consulate in NYC today. We are keeping our fingers crossed that we will get it back this Saturday, though it's more likely that it will not arrive until the day before we fly out! Oh, how nerve-wracking!

Okay, I won't bore you with the number of things that we have to get done. I did get Izaak registered for daycare (and I didn't cry), we have all his prescriptions, and I have a friend that is letting us borrow clothes to take for him (Thanks Shelly!). So, things are coming together.

I still don't think it's sunk in that we are going to meet our son next week! We can't post our itinerary, but we will update again next week. Stay tuned, we're in for a crazy, exciting adventure! ~ A

We have a name...

After much deliberation, we have finally selected a name for our soon to be son:

Izaak "birth name" Cuales

We received two photos with his referral. He was giggling in one of the photos. We wanted his name to reflect our first impressions, so when we found that 'Isaac' meant "laughing one/laughter/he will laugh," it was a shoe in. We chose the alternative spelling of the name because we wanted to reflect his Russian/Kazakh heritage. We also chose to keep his birth name as his middle name, but we'll have to share that at a later date.

Now that we've officially introduced Izaak to our families (all day Saturday), we've now published entries from the past week. Izaak was very well received by our family with lots of excitement, hugs and tears. Everyone is eager to meet him.

~ M&A

The Announcement

So, I held my tongue all week and kept the referral a surprise until we were able to visit my family on Saturday. Of course words will not be able to express the pure excitement and joy that my family experienced and displayed on that day, but I'll try to give a recap the reactions:

Angela's Mom - once she realized that she was holding her grandson's picture in her hands, there were lots of tears and bouncing about followed by "how could you keep it from me?" Well, mom, I didn't want to miss the happy frenzy that you would display. She didn't disappoint! To mom's credit, she had a hunch I was up to something the whole week before.

Maw Maw - pure happiness and excitement. She thought Izaak favored Mike which made Mike grin ear to ear. Maw Maw had put the pressure on us to decide the name. We had to decide before the announcement since she's been asking for his name since I told her we were adopting. We finally decided at 2am Friday night (the night before) so that I wouldn't disappoint my Maw Maw.

Grandma Ruby - loved the name Izaak because it was a "bible name" and new the name meant "laughter." She had prayed for our little boy the night before without even knowing we had accepted him. She also said a prayer for all the little children in the orphanages. She agreed that he's absolutely adorable.

Granny and Papa - well, they ended up having a little tug of war with the picture. They too felt that Izaak favored Mike. Papa is ready to give Izaak a ride in his wagon. I later found out after we left and when my mom visited, that Granny let the tears fall and had tried keeping it together while were there - too sweet!

Angela's Dad and Lisa - were speechless until Lisa let out a loud happy scream. I had clear bubble wrap around the picture frame. Dad said, "so you got me a frame for the baby's picture." I said, "No dad, that's him!" Dad looked at it confused and when he finally got the bubble wrap off he got completely choked up with tears. His face turned red, tears flowed and dad was speechless. It was such a touching moment! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes just thinking about it.

Grandma C - got tickled when she saw Izaak's picture. This will be her 7th great-grandchild, but she's just as excited as if this were her first and can't wait until he's home.

David - got Izaak's picture right on time and found out the same day as everyone else. He commented that he was a "cute little rascal" and was thrilled. He had already shown his grandson off to the neighborhood when we talked.

So, it turned out to be a fantastic day of laughter, tears and hugs. Mike was in la-la land all day daydreaming of flying kites and making memories with his soon to be son. We're just so ready to bring him home. This little boy has no idea how much he's going to be loved, how much he is already loved. ~ A

Still in shock

So... after this gut-wrenching 40 min. conversation with the doctor a few days ago, we accepted the referral and it's been totally surreal ever since. Now I'm walking around with this child's photo in my pocket, dying to show and tell everyone, but afraid to believe it's real. It was an amazing feeling to finally see a photo of our little guy. Each day I wake up and get more and more attached to him and realize how much I already love him. The wait is going to suck. ~ M

On Cloud Nine

Words can't express the feelings that I'm having. We got a good medical evaluation from the doctor tonight. It went far better than we could have ever hoped for. In the international adoption world, the evaluation you pray for is "average risk," well, that's what we got and we're elated! As soon as we hung up the phone with the doctor we both cried happy tears and just hugged each other. After years of waiting for a child, this is it, we've found our son! My heart is filled with so much joy, excitement, anticipation - I'm just about to burst!

We've stragetically planned a trip to visit my family this weekend and can't wait to tell the news. Actually we're going to have pictures framed as gifts for "Mother's Day" a week early. I can't wait to see my parents and grandparents faces as they tear off the paper and see their grandson's/great-grandson's face for the first time! So far I've done well to keep the surprise. In fact this won't even be posted until we get home on Sunday.

We would love to post pictures, but on the recommendation of our agency we can't give any revealing information online. Techinically he's not ours until the judge awards us custody. We still have a long way to go before that day, so we have to be careful with what we share online. We can tell you that he's 9 months old, Asian, and healthy given the information provided. He's also an absolute cutie! He has beautiful brown eyes and three teeth. Okay, you'll just have to wait till we get to Kazakhstan when this website will be plastered with pictures of our Kaz kiddo.

As far as travel timeline, well, we've entered the next round of waiting. We don't know when we'll leave but it could be in 4-12 weeks. We're, of course, praying for sooner than later. We'll keep our fingers crossed! ~ A

Waiting for Doctor's call

We finally heard from the doctor's office that we called to evaluate the medical report. I was in complete panic mode as the clock ticked past 7:30pm knowing that the clinic closed in 30 minutes (they are in Washington State). We waited 4 days for this particular doctor's office and I was getting worried that we would have to go with plan B, since our agency expects a decision 5 business days after sending the referral (this Thursday). Luckily our appointment was squeezed in the last hour - this Wednesday at 8pm est (5pm wst). That will give us one night to think it over and notify our agency on Thursday. I pray that we get good news Wednesday night and our decision to accept the referral is an easy one.

The weekend was long! You can't imagine how hard it is looking at this sweet boy's face and not being able to tell our friends and family that he might be our son. If all goes well, then we'll make the announcement to our family this weekend and finally actually be able to post these entries that I've written! Oh, I hope all goes well!!! Just 2 more days until a decision...